you need to use some paragraphs it’s really easy to lose your place when you dont use periods its also very confusing because you dont know when the sentence ends or starts your shpelink aslo sukz balsz
i think you need to revise.READERReport 2007-03-29 23:26:09im not sure why it doesn’t paragraph it when it loads i have them as word doc’s and they are paragraphed no offense taken and i hope that you’ll continue reading while i try to figure out how to load them in properly…thanks againREADERReport 2007-03-26 13:01:34Don’t take this the wrong way but you asked for contructive comments so here goes. Xnxx tv I stopped reading after the 22nd line or so. And watch your “narrative tense”. Finally SPELL CHECK. The lack of paragraphs, the switch from one tense to another,often withing two lines of text, all go to make it hard for the reader to appreciate the effort you have no doubt put in. Also had problem breathing between paragraphs! Because of that, I too didn’t get to the end of your story. But when there are no breaks between thoughts it makes it especially hard. It’s very hard to read stories online. Why don’t you ask someone to edit your story for you..
