When you have this many different characters in one scene, use fewer pronouns so it’s easier to keep track of what’s actually happening. also if you were to make it a bit longer and add a little discripion to some characters so we can kind of get a feel for them, get to know them a bit :p Great story, Hope to read more!Anonymous readerReport 2009-08-19 06:13:13The plot was interesting, but rushed and convoluted. Xnxx video It would have been fine to work in a little jail cell sex. also if you were to make it a bit longer and add a little discripion to some characters so we can kind of get a feel for them, get to know them a bit :p Great story, Hope to read more!Anonymous readerReport 2009-08-19 06:13:13The plot was interesting, but rushed and convoluted. It would have been fine to work in a little jail cell sex. When you have this many different characters in one scene, use fewer pronouns so it’s easier to keep track of what’s actually happening. If you’re going to title a story “Pixie Lust”, please add a little lust, and not just adventure and intrigue. 2 comments«1»AquaMastaReport 2009-09-02 05:30:08Getting better, I like the story line but a little more “sex” or at
