you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» 11 s«123»Report 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. If you brought the feelings of the characters into the story more it would help. Xnxx tv you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» 11 s«123»Report 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. 2. you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» Use more prose when you describe the settings. Use more prose when you describe the settings. If you brought the feelings of the characters into the story more it would help. Use more prose when you describe the settings. If you brought the feelings of the characters into the story more it would help. It helps.Report 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» 2. Use more prose when you
