WGF- That’s exactly the problem I had on the forum and overcorrected for here. lol
horny-I think maintaining a rotation through the characters is a good idea and ID’ing each POV change would probabily been the biggest improvement. Xnxx video This, NOT. I don’t think it took away from the story. The sentences were a little short and choppy but that added to the style, and it was highly entertaining. Add gratuitus sex to get more votes?cijababeReport 2011-03-08 03:16:25I loved it! I think I should have only changed POV’s a couple of times there. Add gratuitus sex to get more votes?cijababeReport 2011-03-08 03:16:25I loved it! The spacing threw me a little but not enough to stop reading or to spoil my enjoyment. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading.«12345» redo this in Berlin, 1945ssaloReport 2011-03-11 01:06:44Thanks everyone. I don’t think it took away from the story. Cija-The story evolved like a shack turning into a mansion, my biggest regret was not making the POV changes read clearly.
