It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. Use more prose when you describe the settings. Xnxx com 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. 2. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. you have room to grow in the next couple of chapters, and i look forward to reading them.«123» 2. 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. 2. 2. 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. 2. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. If you brought the feelings of the characters into the story more it would help. If you brought the feelings of the characters into the story more it would help. 2. It helps.Anonymous readerReport 2008-09-23 16:15:32good start. Use more prose when you describe the settings. Use more prose when you describe the settings. 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2009-01-15 17:44:15Is his name jack or jeffREADERReport 2008-12-30 21:02:39Yes,you’ve gotten some pointers.NOW,write some more.eiggahReport 2008-11-30 15:13:31sweet story mmmwordytomReport 2008-10-25 21:03:17Two things:
1. Use more prose when you describe the settings.
