but u gotta improve … Xnxx sex This story has definite potential. i give it a 7 .. For all the build up, the sex scene(s?) was kind of anticlimactic. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2005-11-11 05:38:23agrree with miker . . … He is married to a woman old enough to have an 18 yo daughter, but he slacks around the house like a 20 yo stoner. (most writers at this site treat description like a drivers license with bra/penis size. Come on guys, give us some freckles, glasses, and tattoos.) The dialogue was erratic, but dialogue is hard. For all the build up, the sex scene(s?) was kind of anticlimactic. try getting claire and katie in the story if u wanna describe it as incest …READERReport 2005-11-01 16:19:01u need to bring the daughter in, and archaic’s right, too choppy, it dosen’t flowREADERReport 2005-10-23 12:28:21It was kind of choppy and hard to follow. (most writers at this site treat description like a drivers license with bra/penis size.
