thats the only way to work on ur stories!archrevenantReport 2011-01-27 02:43:13Grammar made me stop reading, i skimmed the rest but spelling is important if you want to engage the reader. Xnxx porn Hope this helps.«12345» 33 s«12345»Report 2015-01-23 17:54:50MY DICK IS HARD NOWanonymous readerReport 2012-10-26 16:19:32This made me so fucking hard. I also found the phrasing very repetitive. Kale instantly felt his brother’s mouth on his cock; the water being a lot cooler.” Its just over explaining. i loved this strory, and all i can say is: KEEP WRITING! i loved this strory, and all i can say is: KEEP WRITING! Detail is good, but when you go on about stuff that you’ve already made clear it distracts from the story. ” We get it, they’re twins. ” We get it, they’re twins. i loved this strory, and all i can say is: KEEP WRITING! And, “he took it immediately into his warm mouth.
