Peace. Xnxx Details are good, but they have to be the right details. This has promise, but your style needs a *lot* of work. This has promise, but your style needs a *lot* of work. This has promise, but your style needs a *lot* of work. You really need to write more about the characters, not just their clothes. People don’t just go around fingering their friends; if they have a special relationship, we really need to know about it for this to make sense. If your character is rich, but none of his friends know it, don’t have him live in a house with a four-car garage and drive a Lincoln Navigator! I don’t understand your obsession with brand names. Do you know how much those things cost? 7 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2011-12-19 22:50:00totally unrealistic its just to fake guess what im only 10 lolREADERReport 2006-03-28 18:38:28ok storyREADERReport 2006-03-28 18:37:08good story but needs more relistismREADERReport 2006-03-05 07:13:56This may be your first time writing a porn story, but it looks like it was your first time writing anything ever. You really need to write more about the characters, not just their clothes. Do you know how much those things cost? Do you know how much those things cost? =Dreamer=READERReport 2006-03-04 23:38:38complete crap«12»
